Blog

When others disappoint

Someone very important to me has disappointed me. Giving everything I can to here has been the albatross around me neck as many years ago I promised someone else I would. No matter what I have given, it has never been enough and many times I have been hurt by this pattern. Recently I have...

Saying no

For the first 31 years of my life I said yes. Yes to projects, yes to relationships, yes to degree after degree after degree, yes to clutter and knick knacks, yes to small talk, yes to abuse and violence and yes to taking on the suffering of others. I was raised by a yes person in a yes family...

Vulnerability

Being strong and independent is lonely and exhausting. Considering the value I placed on being independent and impenetrable, I taught myself how to function while exhausted and lonely constantly. Through the several awful and toxic relationships, through the years of graduate school, through...

the victim stance

When we have been harmed early in our childhood by those that were supposed to love us most, it is difficult to trust the world and it is even more challenging to feel powerful in the face of more pain. There were several years where I felt like a victim, I believed I was a victim, I saw life...

this class

The semester has started for me, another 14 weeks of grinding. The class that I have purposely and intentionally put off, because it is rumored to be the hardest of the degree, has descended upon me. Hours and hours of effort this first weekend still has left me baffled about the...

No more sir and ma'am

Recently the most significant conversation on my mind is and attempt to investigate what gender as a concept is. Like many, I have been riveted by the current platform and discussions going on in pop culture about transgender people and how our country is beginning to embrace them. At the same...

A visitor

This week past, Vermonters had a visitor, and whether a supporter or not, it was clear to the entire state that Donald Trump was out of place. This made the event a big deal for all of us. Following closely the campaign has become an important part of each of my days. As I start to profoundly...

Home sweet home

After 14 moves, 9 cities and towns, and 12 apartments, I have finally arrived in my home. Although I have dreamed about this arrival since I first left home as a teen, the moments are even sweeter that I could have ever imagined. The flawless way in which the sun rays shooting diagonally...

Beginning again

The vast array of happenings in my life since I last constructed a blog in Vienna is breathtaking. Getting married, buying a house, bringing two kittens home, working on the new house, starting a family, working on my MBA and going to work what seems like all of the time has been a lot. I have...

Vienna

It wasn't noticeable as soon as I de-boarded, possibly that was because I was so exhausted, but it was clear as soon as I dropped my bags in my hotel room, tied up my sneakers and commenced my new city routine. Walking for hours was the trick I learned when I was living abroad in Italy, there...

A vicarious trauma

This week I received a strong taste of my own medicine. Increasingly over the last year, I have spent more and more time traveling around the country talking to audiences about the risk of vicarious trauma for public servants. There have been police officers, child protection workers, mental...

He's not here

With several major life milestones approaching in the next few months, there is one person that is constantly on my mind. I am dreaming about him, I am seeing him walk by, I am wondering whether any of these significant life elements would be present if he were here. On this Father's Day, just...