The vast array of happenings in my life since I last constructed a blog in Vienna is breathtaking. Getting married, buying a house, bringing two kittens home, working on the new house, starting a family, working on my MBA and going to work what seems like all of the time has been a lot. I have had the opportunity to speak in many parts of the country, develop a few expertise, represent many causes and learn so much, all of which has been substantially rewarding, but a lot. Too much in fact, for me to even see out of it enough to write.
Even amongst all of that noise I continued to hear a reminder from an old yoga mentor. While achieving my earliest certification in yoga instructing, I watched this being glide through her instruction. She seemed flawless, she seemed enlightened, she truly seemed angelic and one afternoon as all of us students sat in a circle listening to her, she giggled and quipped that there had been many times in her life when she did not practice yoga. She said she had always come back to it but there were months on end when she just couldn't get to it. Something cracked open inside of me with this permission. It flew directly in the face of everything I had ever been taught about a practice. Never stop. Never take a break. Never admit you just can't get everything done that you have been getting done.
Since that time, I have given up many things I love to do and then I have gone back to them. The permission to pause a practice almost makes the experience that much sweeter because it is me choosing rather than obliging. It is a strange building of pressure inside when I am unable to practice my practices and then when everything slows down, I am able to come back to myself again. Likely, the wheels will turn slowly at first, it will feel clunky and cranky and then fluid and smooth will return and I will be back at it again full bore. I have missed this opportunity, and yet I have needed to carve out the space and time to complete these very large milestones. Returning just as soon as I possibly could was the only goal throughout.
This post will not be very eloquent, it won't imbibe much insight, frankly, others should probably skip over it. The post is just to re-open the relationship with writing online at least once per week. It is merely an attempt to re-instate the practice. There may be deep thoughts coming down the pike but this is just me coming back to myself. This has become the third break I have taken since beginning the process of blogging, and now the break is over, and I am back. Looking forward to hearing from all of you again.