Day 20

A rousing game of Pictionary last night with the family was just what the doctor ordered. I love board games, and deep in a place in my heart that I don't often allow myself to acknowledge, I know that board games are no longer cool. But neither are hand made wool socks, listening to Cyndi Lauper at full blown woofers and tweeters, writing letters and sending them by snail mail, or being nervous every single time I post something on the internet.

Growing up I was particular about what I ate, what I wore, who I spent time with, and the activities that I participated in. Although the specific details have changed, I remain particular and with that comes the other side of the coin; when I love to do something, I really love to do it. Sitting shotgun is one of those things for me, the nostalgia of it makes me just swoon. Sometimes at night I dream of riding shotgun through various different mountains and valleys. Today was one of the days I got comfortable in the passenger seat and we just drove.

The urge to drive is creeping in at a palpable level. There have been two cross country trips I have taken solo and nothing else cleanses the soul for me as effectively. I can't go though, not right now at least. The schedule doesn't allow, the job doesn't allow, the life phase doesn't allow. The urge to explore the country without a time constraint, on my own, passing by thousands of strangers I will never see again is growing. But without an opportunity to satisfy the urge, what else am I to do?

Thinking today about this question brought me a significant amount of comfort. Yes, I want to abscond, yes I want to drive without destination, yes it is that time of year where I start to crave less responsibility. What else can I do to replace the satisfaction? Set a goal, work toward something, accomplish, produce, strive and achieve. I can hear the challenge whispering in my head, reminiscent of the millions of times I heard it as a child from my mother.

It is time to set another goal, put a destination in my mind, and systematically work toward it. There are so many examples of times when I have needed to choose a target, the hardest part is now over, I know what I need.